I received an e-mail recently from a concerned citizen regarding the manners on the Metro—or more precisely, lack thereof. This got me thinking about my own behavior as well as the behavior I have witnessed in my years as a transit rider. I’ve also been following a string of letters in the Express detailing the same such concern. I even have a few views of my own when it comes down to it, but I also began to wonder, is chivalry dead? Did it ever exist in the first place (on Metro)?

We’ve all been there, early morning or after 5, waiting for the inevitably crowded train, just wanting to get to our final destination as quickly and comfortably as possible. I can think of countless times when some clueless tourist has stood like a lump in the doorway of the train or allowed his child to swing from the bars like a trapeze artist for Ringling Brothers. But it seems to go much deeper than our visitors from outside the metropolitan area. Washingtonians, natural-born and transplants alike, are crowding the doors of the trains, remaining seated while elderly, handicapped, pregnant, or infirmed stand swaying in the aisles, and generally participating in bad behavior.

I knew the girls would have opinions, so I used our Thursday happy hour to find out just what they had noticed and if they were as disillusioned as I. Erika, having come from a packed train at Metro Center, was definitely in favor of “getting the heck out of the way of the doors” when riding the train. Stacey didn’t mind the crowds, but said it did bother her when she saw an elderly person standing while an able-bodied younger person sat comfortably reading the newspaper. Alison was practically distraught by the conversation, exclaiming, “People just don’t have any manners anymore!”

What was the solution, I wondered aloud. Short of etiquette classes (Alison’s suggestion), yelling at the rudies (Erika’s suggestion), or ignoring it (Stacey’s suggestion), what could the average commuter do? I personally have tried many different approaches from the, “Excuse me, perhaps you could give up your seat so that this woman with a walker can sit down,” to the “Hey! There’s a lady with a walker. Get up!” and everything in between in an attempt to get some of these folks to remove their rumps from the seat. But I’ve also been in the situation where, totally exhausted, I have been barely able to remove my own rump from the seat. There’s got to be a better way!

I have decided to appeal to the humanitarian in everyone—perhaps that is all I can really do for now. The next time you find yourself on a crowded train (or bus, even), look around. See who might need a seat, if there’s more room toward the center of the aisle, if your giant backpack is whacking the lady behind you in the face and take a baby step to alter your own behavior. Perhaps, like parenting, setting a good example ourselves is the best way to ensure that others will follow our lead. If we want better behavior, perhaps we must start with ourselves.

I’m promising here, in public for all the world (or at least all of my tens of readers) to see, I’ll move my tired tushie for the nine-months-pregnant lady leaning on the pole. I’ll squeeze to the center of the car, rather than blocking the already crowded door, even though my stop is the next one. I’ll put my giant bag (why do I need to take all that junk to and from work everyday anyway?) between my feet instead of slung over my shoulder and in the face of the passenger behind me. I’ll wait for the next train, which is coming in 5 minutes anyway, instead of pushing into the already-sardine-packed train. I, dear readers, shall lead by example—follow me!